I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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