if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
