This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Randomize
