my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
