I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
