Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
