Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
