is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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