You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
