I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
