Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
