Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
