dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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