Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
