Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
