I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I am available for nakedness
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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