i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
