we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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