Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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