I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
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