What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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