Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
