her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Randomize
