I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
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