yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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