hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
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