She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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