shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
