yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
