I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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