Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
