The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
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