Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I wanna bring you to show and tell
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
