I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
