I puked a lego.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
