I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
