Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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