how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Randomize
