two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
