I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
