What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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