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• (925): View more from California

  I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.

  (713): View more from Texas

  Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  hello competition

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night

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• (801): View more from Utah

  He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.

  (1-419): View more from Ohio

  I'm out of town so we should be golden.

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm

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• (270): View more from Kentucky

  Oh my god I found my bf's erotica

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.

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• (360): View more from Washington

  I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma

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• (315): View more from New York

  He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.

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• (813): View more from Florida

  That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock

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