R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I need to wash the frat house off of me
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
