i jhust puked up my retainher.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
