Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
