i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
