I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
