I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Don't tell me you're on acid again
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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