If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
