i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I think weed is turning my hair brown
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
