Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
