dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
